Polka - Curse or Cure-all?

It’s a simple matter of heaving your weight to one side, in three short steps. 1 – 2 – 3. Then, to the other side. 1 – 2 – 3. Turn slowly through the six total steps. Repeat endlessly.

Those are the details. The important things about it are girls, music, and beer. The order of these will vary with the circumstances, but isn’t it wonderful to be able to combine the three most important things in life into one brief dance?

Let’s examine in, cursory, if not excessive, detail these three fundamentals of the good life. Girls – They hold a fascination for a guy like me, not only for the obvious reasons, which I won’t go into, aside from noting that they (girls) are warm, soft, and much more discriminating than I am. Yes, this could also be said of kittens, dogs, and all sorts of animals, but have you ever seen any of those doing the Polka?

What really fascinates me about girls is their minds. I swear I am not lying. Their view of the world, their sensitivity, and their imaginations. It’s a puzzlement and a wonderment. Plus, many of them can keep time and carry a tune. In Polka, as in Square Dancing, one (me, I) is put in direct contact with this magic. Excitement is inevitable!

The instrumentation of accompaniment can range from full orchestra to quartets, from tubas to saxophones, from guitars to the almost indispensable accordion. The accordion is a versatile and portable instrument that has the added bonus of being able to supply the bass, the beat, and the melody.

Most scoff at the accordion, but throughout the history of the instrument (and it is a long and distinguished, not to mention, romantic one) there have arisen great artists, such as, Frankie Yankovic, Fat Louie Szykowski, and Babe Wagner – all household names. All it takes is a few notes and you know you’re in for something special.

Beer, besides being one of the basic food groups, (as necessary to life, some argue, as water) is the lubricant, nay, the WD-40, of Polka. It frees the participants of shyness. It facilitates movement. And, it can round off the rough edges of one’s inexperience, one’s lack of coordination, and make each partner essential to the dream. I won’t go so far as to say, it is the blood of romance. That’s gross and inaccurate, but it helps with dry lips.

These three elements combined, have been known to provide comfort, enable excess, and promote needed exercise. Romance aside, Polka is a workout. But, it is one where everyone is smiling and ready for more.

In addition, it can be a poetic expression for sensitive souls. Just take a peek at these Polka titles:

The Fireside Polka Jolly Wife of Mine Polka

Twenty Flowers Polka The Ponytail Polka

Hoosier Susie Polka Mother-in-law Polka

Strip Polka The Okey Dokey Polka

And, who can forget such favorites as:

My Baby’s Got A Nice Dupa
The Night Lil’ Wally Came to Town
Waukesha, All Praise To Thee!

I have many Polka memories, and not just because I’m from Minnesota, a state known for its cultural, intellectual, and musical luminaries. Early morning AM radio, while driving through endless fields of corn, in sunshine or in blizzard. That wedding reception where my girlfriend and I fell into the closet, while trying to retrieve our coats. That old white, clapboard community center, alone, in a forest clearing, up North, and a party just for the hell of it, on a Sunday afternoon.

Some say there is no beer in heaven. Does that mean, by extension, that there is no Polka, either? No one’s God could be that cold. But, just in case, I’m getting mine in now.