I apologize about the title. There are so many things going on. I’m reading a book called The Overwhelming Brain or The Overwhelmed Brain or The Overflowing Brain or something and it talks about just how much multi-tasking and thinking is actually, physiologically possible. There is so much to do and there is so much information available now and not only available, but unavoidable, that our brains are short-circuiting. We forget. We can’t prioritize. We can’t keep up.
I won’t say I’ve flipped my lid, but it does feel a bit unstable. Y2K, West Nile Virus, terrorists, salmonella, the economy. And those are just a few of the huge, abstract fears that are out there roaming around, breaking into my reverie with thoughts of death, sickness, and destitution. I won’t even begin about the many thoughts that go through my head when I look into the mirror or my checkbook.
Just to rant on a little longer – there’s stuff like getting a haircut, my lunch with Kit next week, getting the oil changed, Cait’s graduation, did I answer that email to Dan, and March Madness! As I write this, it brings to mind a hundred other things that have been waiting patiently, though tapping their feet, on notes scattered about on my desk. I have piles of lists and lists of lists. When am I going to get to all this?
And, it’s not just me; it’s all of us. You’re on my list and I’m on yours and we are all connected in ways that may never become clear and in events that may never take place. Or, they will take place, but without us, because we misplaced the list it was on or we transferred it to our calendars incorrectly.
I keep thinking I will take care of this or that important thing on the weekend, when I can slow down and think about it. But, weekends go by and it’s almost April! 2009! There’s part of me that is still back in the ‘60s. And, some of me in those other years. Is that memory or neurosis?
My mind is trying to catch its breath, which is a weird thing if you know anything about science. I don’t, but I’ve always wanted to. I used to buy books explaining things like biology, physics, Time, UFOs, even history, but I never had the time or the breath in my mind to read them. I once thought osmosis (whose definition I looked up) was a possibility and, as an experiment, kept these books scattered around the house. Now, having the advantage and privilege of hindsight, not to mention the advice of my more orderly wife, I see I was wrong. There is so much I don’t know. I don’t even know how much I don’t know.
Anyway. So many books, so little time. So little time, so little time.
I have got to calm down. This is not helping the situation. Neither is the coffee I am abusing to help me stay up to date. This is not a pleasurable, social cup in the morning; it is a necessary supplement, just like vitamin C or anti-depressants. The proliferation of coffee shops, spots, or whatever they’re called is like gas stations. They’re everywhere. They’ve become essential to society’s well being. They provide the fuel to keep things running.
Is it the coffee or is it us? Everyone seems a little jittery. I wish I had the time to pursue this philosophical question. It’s kind of like the chicken and the egg. I like both, but I’ve got stuff to do.
What will actually happen when my brain short-circuits or becomes overwhelmed? Will I find myself momentarily stunned and then return to a pace I can handle? Or, will my eyes go large and my hair start on fire, while I shake uncontrollably? And what will things be like if many people are affected like this? A pandemic of guys spontaneously combusting because they and their Blackberries have freaked out. That would be hideous and would accomplish nothing. And there is so much to accomplish. At the moment, I can’t even think about it. I’ve got to go.
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