Inhuman Poundage

It’s all about eating, isn’t it? I mean, we need to eat to live. It’s imperative. Whether it’s M & Ms and burgers or salads and tofu, we need to eat to fuel our bodies, to get the energy to do whatever it is we do.

Someone once said, “You are what you eat.” I think that’s taking things a bit too far. I am not a milkshake! I am not a turkey! Speaking of which, Thanksgiving was two days ago and I’m still not hungry. Sure, I’ve eaten. I admit it, even though I said I would never eat again. At least, not in that overblown, though delicious, fashion.

I like to think I have free will. And, I do. But habit carries such a weight (pardon me) that each breakfast, lunch, and dinner seems not only inevitable, but, also, necessary. And, that’s just not true. I can’t remember the last time I was really hungry. And, that’s not because those synapses are faulty. I carry enough on me to supply my needs for weeks. Maybe, I was right. Maybe, I carry enough to last until next Thanksgiving!

The question is, do I really need to eat this much? And, is it really healthy to go from meal to meal with expectations of, not only functional fullness, but also something approaching Food Channel requirements?

Emeril, Mario, Anthony. Rachel and Paula, too. I’m on a first name basis with all these guys and that’s scary. Coming from a modest Minnesota background, peanut butter and jelly, tuna casserole, and meatloaf have always been good enough for me. Now, if I can pronounce every ingredient correctly, I know something’s wrong. Did you know there are different kinds and flavors of Olive Oil?

As things become more global, we’re lucky, but it’s so confusing. Nothing is a comfort anymore. Everything is an adventure.

I don’t know why I’m complaining. This seems to be a problem only for older, lucky, white Americans. When I say thanks, I mean it. On Thanksgiving and on every other day. I just wonder what I did to deserve that extra piece of pie?