Xmas is Near _ Twitter Novel Reprint Part Two

Thanksgiving!!!!!

I'm ready! The big warmup holiday. Well, I mean, it has its own tradition, but I'm focused on the Big One. The one with the presents.

I was so good I feel terrible today. I was nice to the turkey, the mashed potatoes, the rolls, the wine, the gravy, the pies, the ...

It feels like Sunday. Or, is that just my relaxed nature? Plenty to do, but I don't want to rush into it today. Maybe tomorrow. No, Monday.

Each week, each day, brings me closer to my goal, my favorite holiday, my fate. And, being the master of that fate, I say, Bring It On!!!!!!

Mamma Mia! I think I'll transform my world into a musical. I'm walking down the street, when suddenly I break into song, "Deck the halls..."

The next thing I know, first one and then another of the other pedestrians join in and, before I know it, we're all singing and smiling.

We enter the bookstore, en masse, waving our credit cards. We tell the clerks, It's beginning to look a lot like Xmas. They begin smiling.

We disperse to our favorite departments. Mine is beauty aids. Just kidding. I head for power tools and snow shovels.

This was a practice run. I don't like bags with names on them. I'm much more discreet.

Besides, this year I'm making everything. A gift that will say, I really care. For instance, I'm sewing pajama bottoms.

For my sister, I'm re-gifting a T shirt, from last year, that says, I'm With Child. I couldn't go anywhere.

For my other sister, I'm cooking Christmas dinner. I hope it gets to Seattle before it goes bad.

I wrote a song for my wife. "I'm just mad about dinner. But she's just mad at me. (repeat) They call me Chubby Hubby. (quite rightly)

For my brother, I'm going to build an Art Deco bedroom set for his kids. It should be ready in no time.

I've begun volunteering. You just can't do too much to stay on Santa's good list. You probably think I'm too old for Santa. Me, too.

I can't shake it. Despite my true nature, I'll feel bad, if I haven't earned those presents. Besides, Santa is real. I know it!

I'm the librarian at the Homeless Shelter. That's the kind of shelter we have in our town. I'm wheeling old guys around at the nursing home.

What's come over me? It's like I don't even think of presents anymore. Well...,except for those big boxes of Oreos from Costco.

Today, cookies for everyone. The homeless joint, the nursing home, the people with the cardboard signs. All of us fat. That's the spirit!

The guys at the shelter started calling me, Santa. They like my beard. They even asked about Rudolph, like they meant it

I can't stop thinking about cookies. And sugarplums, whatever they are. Eggnog, chocolate, and candy. I'm getting huge!

I played Santa at the shelter. Some of the guys are too big to be sitting on my lap, but I don't want to disappoint anyone.

Afterwards, I celebrated with my gang of elves. A bit too much eggnog. I fell asleep in my suit. I woke up hungry and didn't change.