Timmy and Porky were out in the woods with Lassie in the lead. She had been acting funny, lately. They both had noticed it.
Porky said, “Not funny, ha ha, but funny strange.” Timmy nodded because he was Porky’s friend.
The last few days Lassie had been insistent about their rambling. It was as if she were on a mission. Strange, indeed. Yesterday, after they broke for lunch, Lassie had frozen, paw up, pointing at something. Timmy couldn’t figure it out. She was a Collie.
Today, the sun was beginning to set, but Lassie insisted they go a bit farther. They weren’t familiar with this part of the woods and they were a little nervous. To change the mood, Timmy told Porky the joke about the mechanic and the bus driver. They cackled with abandon, even though they had both heard it before. They knew it well and had even told it to each other over the last few days. As Timmy said, if a joke is good, it’s good.
This lighter moment didn’t last. Lassie wasn’t laughing. She was pointing again. She was looking intently at the trees and sniffing the air. It was growing darker and the boys were concerned that nothing seemed to look familiar.
“Timmy?” Porky pointed at Lassie. “She’s doing it again. This is kind of creepy.”
“I know. I don’t get it.”
Timmy’s big eyes had a look of concern for his pal.
Porky said, “We should go home. I’m hungry.”
But what he meant was that he was scared.
Timmy called to her.
“Lassie? What’s going on? Lassie…”
She gave him a look he couldn’t translate and turned quickly back to the woods. She gave a low growl and then began to bark loudly.
“What is it girl? A well? A mine shaft? Quicksand?”
Suddenly, they heard a scream. It was in front of them, further up the trail. Lassie bolted.
The boys ran toward it, trying to follow Lassie, even as the scream grew in desperation. The hair on the back of their necks stood on end, like frightened soldiers. They rounded a curve in the path that skirted a large boulder, and found a scene that would haunt them for the rest of their lives.
A girl, not much older than they were, was in the rude grasp of a tall man in black. He was shaking her and looked as if he was trying to kiss her. With a shock, Timmy and Porky recognized her as Becky, the Olson girl, from the next farm over. They thought kissing was gross, but obviously Becky was trying to get away from the tall stranger.
Timmy drew himself up to his full height and yelled, “Let her go or I’ll… I’ll…”
The stranger, without releasing the girl, turned toward the threesome and snarled at them. Like an animal. His eyes were glowing red and he had a scrawny beard.
“Or, what, you bean-sized blonde blob? I‘ll deal with you two, after I’m done with her. You look like tasty little morsels.”
The man laughed and threw his head back, causing his top hat to fall off and into the bushes. Timmy and Porky turned to each other and, at the same time, cried, “Abe!”
It was impossible, yet there he was. No one else had ever had a face like that. They were really scared now.
Lassie bared her teeth and did a little snarling of her own. The man spat into the dust and, in the twilight, they saw him bend toward the girl. As he did, his mouth opened unnaturally wide. He looked like an animal with fangs extended, which dripped some kind of disgusting venom.
That’s when they gasped with shock. It wasn’t just Abe, strange as that was, but Abe was a vampire! It was obvious.
Porky said, “We just had President’s Day off.”
They couldn’t move.
Lassie, who didn’t know much about history, but knew a lot of other things, leapt at this cruel and deranged man and sunk her own incisors into his arm.
He let the girl go, as he fought for his life with the enraged Lassie. Whorls of dust rose and all Timmy and Porky could see was the rolling bundle of dog and man. Every now and then, a raised paw appeared or a hairy fist or a big black boot. The boys covered their ears, but it was no use. They couldn’t block out the unearthly growling coming from this unnatural union.
At last, the dust settled and Lassie emerged victorious. Not only had she subdued the man, who either was Abe Lincoln or a very talented re-enactor, but she had also tied him up with the tie he had previously worn around his neck.
Becky was crying and Porky looked at Timmy, rolled his eyes, and mouthed the word, “Girls.” But, truthfully, he felt like crying, too. What would they have done without their best friend, who now stood over, well, stood next to, this tall creature of the night?
“Porky, you go on ahead and get Mom and have her call Mr. Olson. Have her bring the gun and hurry. I’ll walk with Becky and Lassie will take care of Abe.”
Porky said, “Why don’t you go and I’ll walk with Becky?”
“No, you.”
“No, you!”
Lassie looked back and forth at the boys and was about to bite one of them, herself, if they didn’t stop arguing, when Porky threw his hat to the ground and said, “Dog gone it, Timmy!”
He stopped himself and looked at Lassie.
“Sorry, girl. Okay, I’ll go.”
Timmy smiled and then said, “Thank God for Lassie. What would we have done without you?”
Lassie turned back to Abe, pretending not to hear. She knew she was just one of a larger brotherhood of Vampire Hunters, a brotherhood that had existed throughout time and throughout the world. She couldn’t be sure, of course, but she thought she was probably the best-looking one of the whole bunch.
Timmy interrupted her reverie, by saying, “Girl, it’s getting late. We better get home for supper.”
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